We would like to share some parenting tips by sharing our experiences as pastors’ kids that resulted in us learning and embracing other principles that God wants us to possess. The principles and experiences we have had throughout our 18 years are what shaped and molded us into who we are today.
# 1: LIVE BY FAITH
We resided in Bacong, Negros Oriental, the Philippines, during our toddler years. We spent one of our simple, humbling, happy, and unforgettable experiences here. As the ministry was still in its pioneering stage, we learned early the principle of finding joy in living a simple and faith-based life.
As daughters of full-time pastors of the Jesus Is Lord Church-Dumaguete Chapter, we can genuinely utter the reality and truth of what a life living by faith would actually be. When we still didn't have our own vehicle to ride in, we commuted through multicabs from Bacong to Dumaguete and vice versa. Attending church at the Passage Youth Center or other Sunday ministry events was challenging.
We faced this challenge every time we returned to Bacong from Dumaguete, especially at night. The drivers of the multicabs would not depart until the vehicle was at the total capacity of passengers. While waiting until around 6 in the evening or later, Mama and Papa would buy us some bread for something to eat because it would be too late for us if we ate when we got home.
And when we arrived at the highway of Barangay Sak-Sak, Bacong, Mama and Papa would wake us up to get off the ride and walk to where we lived. Mama and Papa would walk on a dark path with no lights, more than a kilometer away from the highway to our house while carrying us on their backs.
We were also delighted when Mama and Papa could bring home small-sized ice cream and our favorite jelly ace once a month at least. And, when our water bill would reach 500 pesos, we would pray to the Lord to provide for our needs, not to mention the double expense of milk, diapers, and other essential needs.
Indeed,
with great faith, like a mustard seed, no matter the current circumstance,
especially the challenging ones, you can learn to enjoy and embrace living a
simple life.
# 2: PRACTICE CONTENTMENT
Every blessing we have received is a favor from the Lord. We have understood that there are times when we have to adjust our wants according to what we just had.
We remember when we were just kids, there were things we wished to have but hadn’t had the chance to own because of not having much in our lives. These things we are referring to are what most young children would want to have, like a TV, a cellphone, and, of course, toys. Yes, we had some toys, but they were limited to cashier sets and guitars. Nothing more.
But despite having experienced less of these, there was never an instance when we complained about, "Nganu wala ko ani ma, siya naa?" or questions and thoughts similar to that. This is because whenever we told Mama and Papa that we wanted them to buy us something, they would always respond with something like, "Nak, dili tanan nimong ganahan makuha nimo. Dili pod tanan imung ganahan mapalit ni mama ug papa. Dili pod tanan, para sa imo. Ug dili pod tanan makuha nimo sa panahon gusto nimo. "
Also,
whenever we wanted to go with her to buy some groceries in Times or in Ricky’s,
Mama would always tell us, "Nak, ayaw pagkuha ug butang nga wala sa atong
kailangan ipalit kai mao rani kwarta ni Mama. Ha? " So, we learned to be
content and grateful for what God provided for us and learned to look into the
perspective of, "Hala, ganahan kaayu ko ana, pero dili raman kaayu
kailangan.So, okay ra nga wala nalang."
# 3: SET BOUNDARIES
Mama and Papa have repeatedly told us that we are safe and secured by God’s protection and covering if and only if we stay within the boundaries set. When we go beyond that, the Lord will not be with us. He will not take charge of watching over us, leaving us unprotected and vulnerable to enemy attacks.
So, what should we do to stay protected inside God’s boundaries? The most important thing we learned from Mama and Papa is obeying and submitting to our parents. Why? Because as long as we follow the commands and the warnings that they have given us, we are protected. We are under the authority granted by God, guiding us to be aligned to His perfect will. So, disobeying them is also an act of disobeying God and going outside our boundaries.
We still remember when we were sometimes at Mommy Jo’s house during childhood. When Kuya Dave would attempt to take us to Robinsons and say, "Joshie, Shaiah, tala, adto tag Robinsons mag pa bugnaw! Balik ra dayon ta!" Then we would reply to him, "Kuya Dave, dili mi mu uban nimo kay wala na sa gi sabotan namo ni Mama. Wala mi naka pananghid nila ni Papa kuya." How cute and obedient we are!
But
there was an instance where Joshie failed to obey Mama and Papa when she went
with Kuya Dave to buy two turtles. Because of her disobedience, something
happened. As they walked back home, her right foot became stuck in
quicksand-like mud, causing her to back away from it. Thankfully, she got out
with the help of Kuya Dave, who reached out to her with a long dried banana
leaf. With that, it took them almost 20 minutes to head back home. And that was
an experience we will never forget, teaching us not to disobey from that moment
on.
#4: SPARE NOT THE ROD
We understood why we were corrected and punished for the wrong deeds we had committed. Mama and Papa will not allow the day to pass without explaining why we have been punished. They make us realize our mistakes and why they should be corrected immediately.
Yes,
we remember as early as the age of 5, Mama would let us sing a worship song on
bended knees, facing the wall, to pray to God and say sorry and ask for
forgiveness from Him.
And of course, Mama’s intention was not to hurt us but to let us realize that something was not right, even when we could not understand it at first and even when we cried so hard.
Every time we were punished, Mama or Papa would have us sit on their laps, hugging them and having heart-to-heart talks with them. Ever since, we have already known that whenever we are being corrected, it means that they love us because they don’t want us to grow up without discipline.
Because
of our discipline, we have learned to respect authority. We have learned not to
dictate anything we want at all times, to behave appropriately, to respond
appropriately to correction, and many more.
# 5: COMMUNICATE OPENLY
We are also taught to have active and open communication with our parents. We inform Mama and Papa about everything that happened during our day, be it in school, like having practices, taking an exam, etc. It is normal in our family to open up about everything, even the details.
Believe us, even when we are now at this age, we still do it since we are used to doing it. Even during our lunch breaks during face-to-face classes, we have time to call Mama and Papa just to talk to them like, "Ma? Hello, Ma! Kumusta? Okay rami, Ma! Nahuman najud among exam ganina. Thank you, Lord! Thank you sa prayers, Ma! Unya hapon Ma kai mag filming mi paras among English. Okie. I love you, Mama ug Papa!"
Our
classmates thought it childish and said, "Grabeha gud ninyo. Mag sige jud
mo ug tawganay sa inyung parents?" But we are happy to communicate openly
because not all our classmates and people we know are as close to their parents
as we are to ours. This explains why we don’t have many close classmates in our
school because our communication with them only covers school activities.
Nothing else. Also, we'd rather spend quality time with Mama and Papa than hang
out with them outside the school campus.
# 6: DON’T PLAY FAVORITES
Growing
up, we didn’t feel any favoritism from our parents as we were treated equally.
We were taught to rejoice in each other’s victories and to support one another.
This kind of treatment we received from our parents made us not be jealous and
feel that we were not good enough. Because of this, we don't treat each other
as rivals to be competitors. To parents, please do not have a culture of
comparison within the family.
#
7: TEACH THE PRIMACY OF GOD’S WORD
There was a time when we did not have time for our devotion. We didn’t seek God’s word, thereby making us spiritually dry. But by His grace, God's hand never fails to reach us.
The Holy Spirit moved us to pour out our struggles and challenges through spontaneous worship. While worshiping, we spoke in tongues, and, amazingly, the Spirit touched us and whispered, "Ang tanan imong gi ka busyhan, temporal lang na. Focus more on spending time with the words."
After that, we were reminded of the truth and felt relieved and free from all the pressure. Right then, we started realigning ourselves by first worshiping, asking for forgiveness, and spending more time seeking revelation from the Word through the Bible. And that is how we overcome that challenge by realigning ourselves back on track with God.
As
we enter a new season in our lives, we have opted to share our experiences that
show the parenting strategies of our pastor-parents. We have learned and grown
up with these strategies, which will be manifested and seen in our lives as we
apply all of them to honor our parents and glorify God.
Never ko naka
imagine na moabot kos point sa akoa kinabuhi na maging kaparti ko sa JIL Vision
"A glorious church evangelizing and discipling Filipinos.." and My
LDTBA Journey has equipped me to become an armor bearer in the ministry where
God Planted me. I am also Grateful sa mga kinabuhi sa mga tawo na gigamit sa
Ginoo na ang NORSU Bayawan na ma reach out ug Isa kos naging bunga sa ilahang
pag-ampo. 
"
